


Feel

by casandraderolo



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Dysphoria, Let's be honest, Panic Attack (kind of), Self projection, Trans Michael, vent fic, what isn't self projection when I write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 09:12:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12105450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casandraderolo/pseuds/casandraderolo
Summary: He just wanted to feel





	Feel

Michael was a fairly easy going person.

 

Sure, he had anxieties about just about everything, but even that was fairly easy to get past, as long as he had his headphones.

 

(He was even allowed them during school— doctor’s orders)

 

Sure, he had days where he didn't want to get out of bed, so sometimes he didn't and that was okay.

 

That was healthy.

 

(He was usually okay enough to get out of bed around two anyways)

 

But there were times where everything would just hit at once.

 

When he could feel the pressure in his chest every time he took a breath.

 

When he could hear the voices telling him how gross and disgusting, and wrong his body was.

 

When he couldn't hear anything but his own thoughts.

 

And they were so loud and jumbled and incoherent, the sounded like static, and he was left with nothing but numb, and tears.

 

Tears that would stop, and that just made him feel worse, because he was too hot to wear his hoodie but his was freezing without it and he felt like he could just throw-up and hide and never come out of bed because he didn't feel. He could feel, and he didn't know how to feel, and feeling was weird and he just wanted somebody to hold his hand and never let go because he wanted to feel wanted.

 

He wanted to feel.

  
He just wanted to feel.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in five minutes and im projecting about what is happening to me at this exact moment like this is me with Michael's name instead of mine
> 
> yell at me on tumblr  
> [main](http://callme-jakey.tumblr.com/)   
> [bmc side](https://transjakobdillinger.tumblr.com/)


End file.
